10 Years

As my classmates enjoy our 10 year reunion, I am compelled to reminisce about the time gone by...I wonder what me 10 years ago would think of me now?
I'm sure she would first notice a me who could stand to lose some pounds, but I don't think that would be her focus. I believe she would see a woman who is so content with God's design for her life, so full of life and hungry for all that it can be.
I believe she would be surprised at how special my marriage is...how much fun we still have after so many years, so many hurts, so many changes. I think she would love what Matt and I have become.
I feel sure she would be surprised that being a mom brings a depth to life that you can't imagine without a child. I have more joy in seeing Eli enjoy life than anything ever!!
I would imagine she would see this 28 year old as someone who has not accomplished much, but she would be wrong!! I have accomplished everything that matters in finding the truth, the narrow road and am fighting with all my might to stay on that path to the gate! And the great part is that my best years are ahead of me! With every passing day I am better and I look forward to whatever will be. I have no need to look back at who I was! She was great, but not even close to what she is now!! Living for God brings joy unspeakable. He points us to life abundant, not a life of rules, but a life of purpose. It reminds me of a song I LOVE -

Men Who Dream
It shall be said among the nations, there's a God who shares our dream.

To share God's dream is more fulfilling than anything I could have ever imagined!! It is a life of joy, peace and contentment. I want this life for everyone I love.
It's been 10 years since I spent my days in CHS. It is a distant memory...The things I held dear then have become less than important to my life now. I am a new me and I love who I have become!

The World's Wisdom vs. God's Wisdom

We had a super challenging lesson at midweek tonight. It really made me wonder if I am really patterning my life after God's wisdom. The world's wisdom just makes more sense to us. It is so natural for us to run after what feels good and makes our lives easier. (I Corinthians 1:18-20) God didn't call us to comfort. He called us to a radical life of denial of self and death to self. (Matthew 16:24-26) I was most challenged when Bonny read Matthew 15:7-9...Is this me? Do I honor God with my lips, but my heart is far from him...worshipping him in vain and teaching rules taught by men? God calls me to a life of love (Matthew 22:36-40). Love is not natural. We can only do it with Him. I guess the thing I left thinking was I MUST check what I do with the Word. I can't count on my instinct because I will naturally go back to a worldly pattern and therefore not be living within God's wisdom. (Isaiah 55:8) And the conflict goes on.