Yesterday, we met with Eli's teacher. She has some concerns about his behavior in class. It was really eye opening. He has been struggling with respectfulness to elders (including visiting moms and his old principal), with self-control in talking with his friends, and with really just being a know-it-all (his pride).
When we sat down last night to talk about how to help him, I explained how I felt like I had worldly sorrow (I Corinthians 7:8-11). All I wanted was for my kids to be like "their" kids - You know, those people whose kids never give them or the teacher ANY problems. (I know "they" are out there. ;o)). Matt suggested that I think about my life and how it would look if I were diagnosed with a terminal illness. How would I interact with the people I love? How would I choose to train the boys? How would I choose to love him (He didn't ask this, I did)? Here's what I would change...
I would SHARE MY FAITH with them (my boys and the people I love). I would open the Bible and share with them what I believe and why I believe it. We all want our children to carry on our legacy, and the people we love to see it. Honestly, this is what convinced me to have kids. A woman with many kids and a not so exemplary life, once asked me, "Do you not have anything in you which you wish will live on after you leave this planet?" When I thought about the fact that there are plenty of people having more children who are hopeless and without God, I knew that I needed to have kids to teach them how to be a light. I had the BEST thing in the whole world to pass on to them, GOD! But do I strive to pass that on? Do I teach them how to live from God's Word? Do I obey God so they can imitate me?
I would PLAY with my boys and have fun with the people I love. I would make lasting memories with them, enjoying card games and Mouse Trap, watching their favorite movie snuggled under the covers and camping under the stars (which we are doing with our church this weekend). I would teach them to enjoy life, not dread it as I often have. I would teach them to appreciate God's constant care for us and not to worry about their life, because he is leading them and taking care of them (Matthew 6:25-33).
I would teach them to LOVE as unconditionally as possible, seeing the best in people and letting go of the bad (Romans 12:9). We all have bad in us and it is easy for us to pick at the bad in ourselves and others when God describes love as clinging to the good in them. Love always hopes, trusts and perseveres (I Corinthians 13).
Finally, I would teach them that TOMORROW IS NOT PROMISED TO THEM. I would challenge them to go live today like tomorrow will never come. We count on our tomorrows and forget that we are only promised this moment. Tomorrow is something we don't yet (and may never) have (James4:13-14).
So, this morning, (which started just before 6:00am) I hugged my Eli close, I told him how much I loved him, I shared with him a verse which calls me higher every time I read it (below), and I encouraged him to think of how he could be wise today. We prayed and were thankful and he went away ready to start a new day with a new perspective. :o) And I am too!!
Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is. Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit, speaking to one another with psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit. Sing and make music from your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. -Ephesians 5:15-20
